Let Your Yea Be Yea, and Your Nay Nay: Why We Shouldn’t Make Promises

Growing up, my mom had a quiet but profound way of teaching life lessons. One that stuck with me over the years is something she repeated often: “Don’t make promises.” I can still hear her voice saying, “Maybe we can do that,” or, “I’ll try to do that.” At the time, those words felt uncertain—like a soft maybe when I wanted a firm yes—but as I’ve gotten older, I realize she was modeling something deeply Biblical and wise.

In Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, He gave this direct instruction:

“But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.”

— Matthew 5:37 KJV

And again, James—Jesus’ brother—echoes it:

“But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.”

— James 5:12 KJV

In both passages, the message is clear: speak simply, honestly, and without the need for oaths or grand promises. Our integrity should be so consistent that people can trust us without the added weight of “I swear” or “I promise.”

My mom didn’t quote Bible verses every time she said, “I’ll try,” but she lived by the principle. She understood that life is unpredictable. You can have every intention of keeping a promise, but what happens when the car breaks down, someone gets sick, or your circumstances change? That’s why she chose her words carefully. Not because she was afraid of commitment—but because she respected the uncertainty of life and the importance of being truthful.

Her restraint wasn’t evasive—it was humble.

Scripture gives us a powerful reminder of just how uncertain life can be:

“For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.”

— James 4:15 KJV

Too often, we speak with certainty about things far outside our control. We say, “I’ll be there,” or "I’ll do that,” But none of us knows what a single day may bring. The humble response, as James teaches, is to say: “If the Lord wills.” That’s not just a spiritual tagline—it’s a confession that God is sovereign and we are not.

This doesn’t mean we become flaky or noncommittal. On the contrary, it means we commit to being honest and realistic, not driven by emotion or pressured to say what others want to hear. It means our yes carries weight because we only say it when we mean it—and our no is respected because it’s given with clarity and care.

It’s okay to say:

• “I hope to do that, Lord willing.”

• “I can’t promise, but I’ll make every effort.”

Let your words be true, even if they’re few.

Conclusion

In a world full of broken promises and hollow vows, simple honesty stands out. Jesus wasn’t just giving a rule—He was showing us the path of righteousness. My mom lived that out in the way she spoke to us: with caution, honesty, and faith. And now, those words have become part of my own vocabulary.

So today, let’s embrace this principle: Let your yes be yes, and your no be no. And when it's something out of your control, say... "We might go and do that," and "If it's God's will." Speak with humility, and trust God with the rest.